I'm back. And payback's a bitch's parole officer, right Emmett?

It’s been practically eons since being on this site. Please, properly blame my brother Emmett for that. I cannot think that you, a mere literary soul who happened upon my blog and thus my woes, can comprehend just what he did and how badly it ended for the rest of us innocent bystanders! Well… to be fair… Edward did ‘accidentally’ elbow me in the face when we were trying to pull the snarling Emmett off of Carlisle. And I may have just ‘accidentally’ reciprocated. What it is that Esme’s always saying? An eye for an eye, especially if they start it? Damn, I think I got that conveniently wrong. I’ve been in a solidly decent brood for well over two months because of this and I don’t plan on breaking it just because it’s over. I’m still more than pissed at Emmett for ruining a good thing for the rest of us.

And if Esme hadn’t always been patrolling around, yanking electric cords left and right for any internet accessible charger, there would have been a way to make our way back on here.

Good thing she’s sweeter than sugar, else I would have been mad at her as well. Nope. Blamin’ everything on Emmett is way more productive. After all, payback is a bitch’s parole officer- it regulates and controls the next moves. ;)

While on this elongated absence from technology, I overheard a particular conversation between my Little Monster and our idiot brother. The television was blaring a commercial for a Klondike bar with that annoying as hell jingle ‘What would you do for a Klondike bar?’.

Alice had giggled and poked Emmett in the ribs as she retorted, “What wouldn’t Emmett do for a Klondike bar.”

(I swear my next words are nothing but the dead truth. Be disturbed at your own discretion.)

Emmett crossed him arms and leaned back before he mused aloud. (I’m sure he didn’t mean to answer verbally. I sure as hell would never admit to something like that.)

“I've never actually had one. Now ask me what I would do for a mile long gummy bear... or a pool full of gummy bears... I'd do a lot!”

Now the world knows of Emmett’s gummy bear fetish. Ah HA! Slowly, very slowly, I feel better about his causing our detainment. ;)

Until next time.