Never a good thing when I get an Accomplice.

So. The little contest the Cullen Boys were hosting ended last night and we had a clear winner- Kristie Silvere. And the two of us had a lovely late night chat to talk about what exactly I would put in this much awaited for blog. No video, no photos, just lists. -grin- Oh yes, you'll see what I mean soon enough!

Kristie assisted me with figuring just what it was that made the other three Cullen males annoying. I believe you'll find the lists we came up with not only accurate, but funny as hell.

I laughed. Kristie laughed. And we discovered that I am the best of the three! In all honesty. I like that.

( I would like to take a moment and link all the readers I have somehow accumulated over this short time period to Kristie Silvere's artistic and creative new blog ( http://silverekaleidoscope.blogspot.com/ ) . I have gone through what she has posted and I like it myself. And she is the winner of the contest. So she is one of our largest fans insofar. ;) I suggest you follow her at your own discretion. )

I believe I have made you anxient readers wait long enough, eh? Fine. Here it is!
;)

10 Ways to Annoy Carlisle Cullen

1. Tell him to only to address you in a cute English accent.
2. Call him Carlisle, but be sure to pronounce the "s". When he corrects you, give him a weird look and tell him the "q" is silent.
3. Ask if blondes really do have more fun.
4. Inquire as to what he actually does on his night shift at the hospital, with all the pretty nurses in the ER.
5. Instead of telling him to "get lost" in an argument, tell him to swim to France.
6. When he annoys you, respond with "times have changed, old man".
7. Ask what type of superhuman power compassion is -- what does he do in a fight? Love thy enemy to death?
8. Leap out from behind a desk in his study when he isn't expecting it and spray him with Holy Water.
9. Call him McSteamy or McDreamy.

And the best way to annoy Carlisle Cullen?

• Run around the Emergency Room screaming, "I've been bitten! I've been bitten!"

10 Ways to Annoy Edward Cullen

1. Sing "The Bad Touch" by the Bloodhound Gang in your head whenever he is near.
2. Hotwire his Volvo and take it on a joyride.
3. Tell him the relationship he is having with Bella is practically pedophilia and he could be sent to jail for it.
4. Ask how Tanya is.
5. End every argument with "Bite me, Edward."
6. Call him Romeo both behind his back and to his face.
7. Whenever he complains or argues, reply with, "What are you gonna do Edward? Go to Italy?"
8. Tell him his hair isn't bronze, it's ginger. And he should stop denying himself-- he's a ranga.
9. Whenever he leaves a room or says goodbye, get down on your knees and beg him not to go, not again.

And the best way to annoy Edward Cullen?

• Take his silver cell phone and change the ringtone to "Like a Virgin" by Madonna.

10 Ways to Annoy Emmett Cullen

1. Tell him he looks like a creepy stalker rapist.
2. Inform him, as politely as possible, that he has grizzly in his teeth.
3. Ask who wears the pants in his relationship.
4. Try to stab him through the heart with a stake.
5. Tell him brawn is out, scrawn is in.
6. Inquire as to how he feels about being the forgotten Cullen male.
7. When he is around, wonder aloud what Rosalie calls him in bed.
8. Ask if he is overcompensating for something with that Jeep.
9. Ask if he is overcompensating for something with those muscles.

And the best way to annoy Emmett Cullen?

When he denies the above two claims, respond with "That's not what Rosalie saaaaaid!"